Annie's Universal Theory
by DracoPathos
Summary: AU-possible slash-Marauders Ann has always had some strange theories. When one of them proves true, though, she finds herself with four teenage wizards landing in her shower. Now how does she send them back?
1. One Not So Quiet Night

**Disclaimer – **If these characters were mine, this wouldn't be fanfiction, now would it?

**Note – **This was a totally random idea that I blame on too many cough drops.

---

**Haunting:** "Yeah." The thought put a slightly depressed edge to Sirius voice. "We have to leave sometime." He made a face. "And I'm looking forward to that less than ever."

**Deserted:** "Well, then," Remus said, "I suggest, Mr. Padfoot, that we stay here for as long as possible."

**Haunting:** Sirius nodded. "I, Mr. Moony, must whole-heartedly agree."

**Haunting:** ((Good place to end, yes?  Anyway, dinner sounds good right about now.))

**Deserted:** ((Yeah.  I should get to bed anyway.  Tomorrow?))

**Haunting:** ((With any luck.))

**Deserted:** ((Alright.  G'night!))

**Haunting:** ((Night.))

Sighing as the closing door sounded her friend's retreat from the online world, Ann copied the night's role-play log and saved it for editing.  It had been a good night thus far.  The latest story was successfully wrapped up now, which left her mind to wandering about plots for the next installment, and the only hitch had been Brit having to excuse herself and Remus for about thirty minutes to pick up her little sister.  With the clock reading 1 AM now, all was well.  Fix some dinner, edit and post the story while eating, and go to bed.  Good plan.

About ten minutes later she finally sat back down with the bowl of ramen in her lap.  She sang along with the CD playing softly to keep from waking up her neighbor, or more like mumbled along, reading and typing between bites of noodle.  With Brit off, the night was getting quiet.  It was almost relaxing.

And then came the crash.

"Bugger!"

"You're sitting on my bladder you prat!"

"Well, you're both sitting on me.  Now will you please move?"

"Ow."

Mouth hanging open with a fork full of ramen floating inside it, Ann stared wide eyed at the computer screen as her ears pricked to the hissed conversation coming from…her bathroom?

"Where are we?"

"How should I know?"

"Exactly how did we end up in a shower stall?"

"Ow."

Somehow she recognized the voices, but from where she wasn't sure.  There was the strangest feeling that they were from inside her head, but she shoved that aside as she silently placed the fork back in the bowl and set that on the desk, closing her mouth and standing as quietly as she possibly could.  No one had come into her room.  The door hadn't opened.  There was no way the voices could really be coming from her shower.  Still…

"This isn't the school shower."

"No kidding."

"Are you alright, Peter?"

"I think I hit my head."

She stood in the doorway as they continued muttering to one another, and stared in disbelief at the sight of legs sticking out from under the curtain.  Maybe she was dreaming.  It was wholly possible that she had fallen asleep on her laptop and was just dreaming.

"Watch out.  I'm gonna try to stand up."

"Finally."

"I'll check for a concussion once we know where we are, okay?"

"Okay."

And then there was shaggy, black hair over wide, blue eyes as one of the boys climbed out to find Ann standing there.  Three more heads soon popped up as well, but the first held her attention.  This was crazy.  How in the name of…?  She had to be dreaming.  There was no way…

"Sirius Black," she choked, voice cracking.  Finally her eyes slid over the other boys, and she squeaked, holding onto the doorframe as the world spun.  "You've gotta be kidding me."

Sirius looked even more stunned as he finally managed to stammer, "H-how do you know my name?"

"Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James Potter – Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs."

The shock on all of their faces was joined by an unmistakable hint of fear at that, and Remus practically yelped a terrified, "You know..."

Ann just gave a broken laugh, lost to them as her shoulder fell heavily against the wall.  "The Marauders just landed in my bathroom."


	2. Not in Scotland Anymore

"How in Merlin's name did we end up in the bathroom of a uni girl's dorm room?"  Remus shook his head in confusion as he paced back and forth across the checkered rug in the middle of the floor.  "And in America at that!"

"Don't forget that whole year 2004 part," Sirius added as he poked at the tangle of cords and electronics covering the desk.

James had taken to raiding the fridge in the mean time and Peter was currently lounging in a bucket chair while Ann went back to the bathroom for her nightly vitamins.  She stood there staring at herself in the mirror for a moment before opening the cabinet.  This was insane.  Her favorite four fictional mischief makers were currently wandering about her room and she couldn't seem to make herself wake up from the dream.  After all, it had to be a dream.  How else could she explain it?

By the time she finally came back out, James and Peter were testing cans of pineapple pop and Remus had taken up a thoughtful perch on the edge of the bed.  Sirius still seemed fascinated by her computer, which wasn't all that surprising she supposed.  But it wasn't until the pills in her hand had been swallowed and she had retrieved a bottle of water for herself that she found out exactly why.

"Were you writing about us?"

Ann blinked as everyone turned to the black haired boy.  He wasn't paying attention to them, though.  His eyes were flicking back and forth as he read the words in front of him.  And then it struck her exactly what he meant.

"The RP log!  I was supposed to post that tonight!"  Her eyes shot wide then.  "Aw hell!  How much did you read?"

Sirius turned back to the screen, reading off, "'Sirius chuckled, eyebrows raised. "Mr. Moony? Is that plotting I hear in your voice," he somehow managed to twist himself around on the bed so he was nose to nose with Remus, "or am I just imagining things?"  Remus declined to answer that verbally. Instead…'"  A barely perceptible blush touched his cheeks as he turned back around.  "Well, I read whatever I could see."

Before Ann could respond, James had crossed the little room and was pushing his glasses up his nose as he peered over his best friend's shoulder.  "Exactly what did Moony do instead?"

"Yes," Remus' eyebrows had shot up.  "Exactly what did I do instead?"

There was a thwap sound as Ann's palm met her forehead and James continued where Sirius had left off.  "'Instead, he bridged the last centimeters of distance between the two of them, covering Sirius' lips with his own. It was a soft, careful kiss in which their lips were really the only part of them that was touching.'"

"What?"  Remus' eyes were wide as saucers now, a blush creeping in across his cheeks.

"'Sirius' eyes sparked, and he licked his lips as he pulled back just slightly," James continued, eyes flashing mischievously.  "'Then he licked Remus' lips instead, kissing him again, a hand reaching up to brush the boy's hair back.  Remus shifted in slightly, moving so that their bodies brushed up against one another. Though they were innocent now, he was well aware of the position they were in-- in bed together, alone. He thus put a hand to Sirius' upper arm, resisting temptation to touch the other boy further.'"

"That's enough!"  Sirius had a hold on the bespectacled boy, forcing him to sit on the bed as Ann hurried to close the log.

It was obvious that Sirius was rather flustered, and Remus' face was turning to quite a lovely shade of scarlet.  James had the most wicked of grins on his face while Peter's mouth had dropped slightly open, and their host took a deep breath before turning back to them.  Sleep.  Sleep would be good.  Maybe – hopefully – she would wake up in the morning and everything would be normal again.  There wouldn't be teenage wizards from the last generation lazing about her room and she would find that she had only been dreaming about them in the first place because she'd fallen asleep editing a log.  Right.

"I'm going to bed," she decided out loud.  "I don't know how you four are going to manage sleeping arrangements, but I have extra blankets at the foot of the bed.  Here are the extra pillows.  You can use the stuffed animals if you need more.  Goodnight."

And with that she shooed Remus and James off so she could curl up on the mattress.

It was noon when the alarm went off and Ann smacked at it with a string of muttered curses.  Saturday morning construction sounded outside her window, effectively preventing a return to the bliss of her dreamland, so she finally gave up and rolled over, kicking her legs out of bed.

She would get up, go to the bathroom, take a shower, and go online.  Homework could wait until she was awake enough to concentrate.  Everything would get done and everyone would be happy.  So she was smiling as she yawned, not a single thought spared to the night before.  After all, everything seemed reasonably typical of her average weekend…until her feet landed on something a bit too soft to be her rug.  No.  It wasn't soft.  It was down right fuzzy.

It was the tail of a large, black dog curled up with a stag, a rat, and a ginger haired boy in the middle of her dorm room floor.

"Oh bloody hell."

---

"Maj?  Yeah hi.  Listen, do you have Lizard's number?  I kinda need to ask him a favor."

Ann leaned back against the door, looking into her room and watching the four boys sitting on her floor.  James had caught on quickly to her old video games, especially the flight simulator, and Peter was content to just sit and watch him.  Sirius, on the other hand, was more than happy to just sit around trying to irritate Remus, who had raided the bookshelf and settled down with a pile of texts next to him on the bed.

"Alright.  Thanks.  Huh?  What about dinner?  Oh!  Yeah.  I'll try to be there.  I might have some company, though.  Okay.  Bye."

"Dinner?"  Sirius sounded all together ecstatic at the concept of food as all four of them perked up.  While all of the junk she had lying about her room wasn't bad, food that didn't come out of a bag, box, or can was calling.

"I'm supposed to meet my friends at the dining hall tonight," Ann sighed, dialing the number she had been given.  "I suppose that means you boys will have to go with me."

James grinned.  "Is it all-you-can-eat?"

"We won't be any trouble, Ann," Remus assured her with a smile as he poked James in the ribs with his toe.

"I know _you_ won't and I doubt Peter will."  She smirked as she listened to the phone ring.  "I just worry over whether or not you can really keep control of the other two.  Hey Liz!  Yeah I had a question."

---

"You have got to be kidding me."

"That's what I was thinking last night."

"Hey!  His hair's the same color green as we turned Snivellus'!"

"Sirius, shut up."

"Well it is."

Lizard's eye twitched slightly as he stood in the small entrance way, staring at the boys lined up on Ann's bed.  "This has got to be a joke," he muttered again, finally stepping in to look them over.  "There is no way."  He poked at Sirius' shoulder and flipped a wayward spike of James' hair.  "They look exactly like their descriptions.  I mean, it's almost like fanart come to life.  How did you do it?"

"I didn't."  Crossing her arms over her chest, Ann watched as he continued to inspect them.  "Or if I did, I don't know how.  I spent all evening and into the morning role-playing Sirius and Remus in Ennervate and next thing I know they're laying tangled in my shower with the other two."

"This is insane."

"You don't have to tell me."

With a heavy sigh, Lizard finally raised his eyebrows and stepped back, pulling his backpack off of his shoulder and dropping into a crouch as he dug through it.  "Well, you said three of them were too tall for your pants, so I brought a few pairs.  I also brought some shoes.  Sorry boys, but you get to wear your own groudy undies until you either go home or Ann caves in and buys you some."

Sirius was about ready to make a smart remark, but Remus and James jabbed him in the ribs from both sides and he closed his mouth again.

"Thanks, Liz," Ann smiled tiredly.

Her friend shrugged as he handed the bag of clothes over for the boys to look through and stood up with a slightly amused smile in return.  He was a good foot or so taller than the girl as he ruffled her hair.  "Don't mention it.  Won't Maj and Sin be surprised when they catch wind of all this, though?  Dinner tonight should be fun."

"Mmm…"  She nodded.  "Should be special."

"Remind me again why I can't just where my uniform and robes?"  Sirius muttered as he  held up a colorful pair of patched up bondage pants.

Ann raised a brow.  "Because this is a city in twenty-first century America where you're all just characters in a book."

"Shite."

Lizard grinned.  "Face it, Toto.  You're not in Scotland anymore."


End file.
